Stuck!
by Winged-Violoncelle
Summary: The world is crazy when Rosette, Aion and Shader are stuck in the same enclosed space, not to mention with a basket of food... CRACK FIC OneShot


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Chrno Crusade… How I wish I did.

**Yue: **Bwaha, more chaos ensues here! I just finished watching the Chrno Crusade anime, which I seriously, seriously _despised_ (not to offend any fans here), so I'm partly writing this as a dedication to the manga and partly to make myself feel better. The characters will all be in their characters in the manga! Meaning that Aion will not be a creep who kisses all the female characters who appear! Enjoy the chaos!

* * *

**Stuck!**

On this very fine day – oh so very fine, Rosette Christopher set out on a nice walk along a nice lake. Of course, nobody knew about it – not even Chrno the Sinner, her partner-in-crime-fighting. She had been rather tired of being constantly reminded of her so very difficult mission, and for once she just wanted some time alone. She sighed contently as she peeked into the basket in her hand – a basketful of** food**! All to herself! Not even Chrno can steal all _these_ away from her! Sausages, chicken, fried eggs… Rosette drooled as she halted on her path and laughed.

"What a fine day!" She continued unleashing the manly laugh towards the seemingly innocent sky, "I, Rosette Christopher, apprentice of the Magdalan Order Militia, partner of Chrno of the Broken Horns, will enjoy this day no matter what the hell happens, and -"

Uh oh, the jinx.

For whatever odd reason, the ground beneath the poor nun's feet cracked right open, revealing a deep, deep abyss. One look and she knew – oblivion awaited. She cursed to herself as she fell through, panicking while complaining that her perfect day was completely ruined. At last she came to a landing – one that was expected to hurt _a lot_ but didn't.

Instead, she landed on an overly soft cushion that was so comfy that she didn't want to get up. It was when a voice came from under her that she realized she had to, for the voice sounded rather in pain and strangled,

"Cough, cough, do… spare me from this immense weight…"

Rosette flushed in indignity. Apparently she had landed on another being _and_ that same being implied insult on her by implying that she, the fit nun who is fit from all the fighting, was _fat_! At that horrid thought she kicked a random rock at the being and roared unhappily, "WHO ARE YOU TO IMPLY THAT I AM FAT?"

"I apologize." The being groggily stood himself up and bowed, "No insult was intended; I was merely startled."

But Rosette could not hear the apology – she was too busy being extremely shocked and startled. When this being look up and exposed himself with the little light that scattered down from above, one could see why.

"**Aion**!" The nun winced in fear as she dropped her food basket and reached for her gun. When all she touched was an empty gun container, she realized that she was doomed – she wanted to enjoy this day so much to the extent that she didn't even bother bringing her guns.

What a way to die, she thought in despair.

Aion seemed rather startled to find this unexpected guest as well, but he had always been good at getting over shocks like this. "Well, well, Rosette Christopher. It seems like we aren't the only stupid ones, right Shader?"

Rosette nearly jumped when she heard something at her feet crawl towards her food basket, "Definitely right, Aion! And I smell **food**!"

"NYAA!" The poor nun took a large step back only to have her head hit a large rock, "OUCH! What is this nonsense? Who is this? Why are you here, Aion?"

"Easy, easy," Aion grinned and waved dismissively as a certain cat demon opened up the food basket to indulge, "One question at a time, shall we? First of all, I believe that this nonsense is an abyss – a very enclosed and puny abyss, that is, if you look around."

Rosette paused her train of anger and disbelief as she took a moment and looked around. Indeed, this was a very enclosed space. The three of them – her, Aion and the cat demon – could barely move around without hitting one or another. She scanned the place for an exit, but apparently the only exit possible was approximately 500 meters above her head, where a now puny-looking opening lay.

"Second of all," she jerked as Aion continued, "This cat demon here is named Shader, the technology brain amidst the Sinners."

"Greeeeeeat…" Rosette mumbled and attempted to move back when Shader looked up with delighted stars shining in her eyes, "The food is great! Did you make it? It's not as good as Fi-chan's but still! And, and…"

"YAAUGH, get off of me!"

Aion watched Shader cuddling away at the poor nun patiently, until patience has slipped away to give way for none other than impatience. See, he loathed being left out. It is Aion we are talking about, after all. "Shader, stop." He ordered, twitching uncomfortably, wondering just how he came to get _left out_. Shader pouted, but obeyed.

"And to answer your third question, Rosette Christopher, we have fallen spontaneously from above." The demon sighed and leaned back against the rocks in distress, "And while we were recollecting ourselves, you have spontaneously landed on me."

"But as long as there is **food**, Shader will be all right!" Shader commented hyperactively on the side as she picked up another chicken leg. Rosette stared, dumbfounded, before realizing what was happening to _her_ food and bursting out full blast, "_MY_ FOOD!"

The echo was immense, for this was indeed a rather enclosed space. This yelling resulted in the three, even Rosette herself to plug the ears. When the echo subsided, Aion and Shader cast a pained look at the sole human in this pit, giving her the creeps. You would get the creeps too when you know that the two staring at you are not humans, but demons.

However it is Rosette Christopher that we are speaking of here. She was used to it. After all, poor Chrno had to endure her screams everyday, and she had started to assume that all other demons would.

Oh, demons.

Crap! She was stuck in a deep abyss with two other _demons_!

Quickly she snatched the basket away from the still dreamy Shader and decided for whatever strange reason that using the basket as a club might work against two Sinners. She pointed the basket at Aion's startled face and commanded loudly, "Step back! I will not allow you to lay a finger on me! Tell me where Joshua is, _now!_"

Aion chuckled as he reached for the basket and pressed it down, "My, my, that basket looks really antagonizing. First of all, I don't think it's quite possible to not lay a finger on you, as you see it is rather crowded in here. Second of all, I'd rather not talk about the Apostles today." He grinned contently as he looked up at that peephole up there that was supposed to be the heavenly exit, "Shader and I came out to have fun, and I swore that whatever the heck happens today I will not allow anything to ruin this mood. So, Rosette Christopher, I do not have the slightest intention to fight, or as you say, lay a finger on you at the moment."

"Huh?" Rosette lowered the basket and tilted her head to a different angle, regarding the Sinner dubiously, "You too? I came out to have fun too and _I _too swore that whatever the hell happens, nothing would get in my way."

Aion scratched the side of his face sheepishly, "Apparently, luck is not with us."

"I don't believe you." The nun shook her head fiercely as she moved the basket back up, "What do demons, _Sinners _like you possibly know much about fun anyway?"

"I'm surprised you asked," Aion shrugged nonchalantly, "Aren't you with Chrno all the time? I would think he was at least a _little bit_ fun loving. I guess he's more boring than I thought."

Well that's true. Rosette paused to think of her partner. Why just two days ago Chrno got carried away in a "pin the tail" tournament with a whole bunch of elementary school kids!

"Your expressions tell me that Chrno is not that boring after all." Aion remarked with a smirk, "So let's all enjoy the day! We swore that nothing would get in our way, right?"

"Except for a deep abyss and two demons…" Rosette rolled her eyes desperately, "Can't we get out of here first before _enjoying the day_, Aion?"

"Ah, getting out of here." Aion laughed heartily, "You don't even have a gun, Shader has no wings. I'm the only one who can fly here."

"Oh, oh," Shader, after being rather left out for a couple of minutes, bounced in delight, "I know, Rosette Christopher! How about you give me some **food** and I'll make Aion take us both out of here?"

Aion protested, "Hey! You can't _decide_ that for me!"

"Hmm?" Shader raised a teasing eyebrow and brushed her cat ears against Aion's face, giving both the nun and the Sinner the creeps. "Ohh, so Aion won't take Shader out of here… Shader will not help Aion with his plans then! As far as I know, Aion needs Shader!" The cat demon retreated and pouted, pretending to be all mad, while Rosette mumbled dubiously on the side, "Do I _want _to know what this plan is?"

"Fine, fine," Aion sighed in defeat, "Rosette Christopher, give Shader her food so we can all get out of here."

"Yayyy!" Shader squealed in delight as she dived for the food basket. "Wait, wait!" Hugging _her_ food desperately, Rosette cried, "You have to promise me to leave me two chicken legs, three eggs, six sausages, a cake truffle and five cookies!"

"Fine, fine, Shader promises!"

"How can you both _eat_ that much…" Aion watch the two female creatures indulge on the food, awed, "…and manage to _not_ be fat?"

"SHADDAP!" The girls growled with their mouthfuls of food, some of the poor food inelegantly shooting out of their mouths. Aion tried to evade the shooting food (he didn't want to get his suit dirty, you see), but the space was so limited that all he achieved was a severe bump on the left side of his head – and, of course, an ugly chocolate spot right in the middle of his perfectly white coat.

"Eww…" he muttered under his breath, before realizing that it was the first time he ever used the word "eww" in his entire xxx years of demon life. Poor Aion. He was so freaked out that he could pound his head against the rocks – because he, the noble Sinner, had used such a low, meaningless, and above all, _childish_ word when he had thousands to choose from.

So here are the three, all sinking in their own world, forgetting that they were trapped in an enclosed abyss for an approximate amount of one point five minutes.

Until Aion realized that he was supposed to fly the two girls out of the abyss, that is. That had got to make him forget about a mere dirty suit. It was then he began to realize that he had made a fault promise – how was he supposed to even _spread his wings_ in an enclosed space like this?

Nevertheless he tried. As Shader and Rosette slowed down their indulging he warned, "I'm going to fly you two out now." And thus began his transformation. It wasn't easy, but at last! He managed to fit! Aion silently let out a call of triumph in his mind. "All right, ladies, now to fly – where's that Rosette Christopher?"

He glared at Shader who was clinging to his arm. The cat demon shook her head innocently. At last a strangled voice came from behind Aion's right wing…

"Stupid… Aion… your wing-g-g… is… squishing… my… f-f-face… can't… breathe…"

"Oh, well," Aion looked around and chuckled embarrassedly, "This _is_ an awfully small space, mind you." At last he spotted poor Rosette's arm, waving helplessly behind Aion's massive wing. He grabbed the arm and pulled it hard, and when he finally pulled Rosette away from behind his wing her face was rather swollen.

Sigh… poor Rosette.

"All right!" Having retrieved both of the "damsels in distress", with one of them being more like an angry dinosaur, Aion bellowed triumphantly, "Now we shall fly!"

Some strange Superman sort of music flowed into the abyss. Light too seemed to be getting brighter as Aion flicked his hair and dramatically lifted off. He was obviously enjoying the role of a hero – however, as we all know, this role was not destined for him. No matter how much he tried, he could only lift his feet two inches off of the ground.

After xxx minutes of trying in vain, Aion gave up with a sigh as he put the two ladies down, "… It's too crowded. I can't move my wings."

"WHAAAAT?" Both Shader and Rosette protested, astonished. "Then how the hell are we supposed to get out of here?" Rosette was especially beaten, "On top of that you squished my face for nothing!"

Aion twitched his lips sheepishly as he transformed back into his human-like form, "Let's forget about the face. It seems as if we have to wait here for help."

"And who in the Astralline's name will notice us, now that we are at least 500 meters underground?" Rosette, in her near-crying state, pointed anxiously at the peephole somewhere on top of their heads. She was more than ready to strangle Aion when he shrugged yet again. She was getting rather tired of this Sinner's constant shrugs.

So, while Rosette Christopher proceeded to do that, Shader crawled back to the food basket. The cat demon sighed as she saw it empty. But she was sharp-eyed, all right, and apparently this basket had a little… hidden switch, shall we call it. Shader successfully stopped the whole strangling-Aion folly with her overly loud "WOW".

The fighting two turned to look. Somewhere under the… first layer, let's say, of the basket, laid at least a _pile_ of different food. There was so much food and such a great smell that even Aion dropped his jaw (of course, he mourned for this indignity later). Rosette merely stared, eyes round, shiny and watery, until at last she managed to babble, "What, what, where did all the food come from?"

Shader turned and pouted, "There was a switch on the basket! It was _your_ basket! How come you didn't know?"

Rosette paused for a moment to think. Then she knew. It was _Chrno_ who always took this basket. He must have conspired with Elder to have this basket made and hide all the food from her! Instantly she fumed. Chrno will suffer whenever she manages to get back up on the ground.

"Great!" Voluntarily Aion moved towards the food. He would just like to get as far away from Rosette Christopher as possible. "We shall have a picnic then! This food is enough to last us for days!"

Rosette nearly choked, "You're planning on staying here for _days_?"

"I don't have a choice. I can't fly here." Once again the Sinner shrugged and picked up a chicken leg, leaving Rosette to her own rage.

The three, knowing that they can't get out of here, sat down. The enclosed space made it a necessity for their legs to entwine, but they cared not. Food was the only thing that mattered. Plus, none of these three were claustrophobic, so there was no trouble.

Until a food fight somehow started.

Of course there would be a food fight! We get an equation! Shader plus Rosette plus basketful of food equals Rosette getting rather angry and slinging tomatoes everywhere! Of course, seeing as the space was limited (we have emphasized that many times already, right?), Aion was inevitably caught in this fiery exchange of food. It was the perfect time for him to avenge his white coat (by getting it dirtier)! The three continuously chucked bread and ham at each other while being lazy and refusing to get up, occasionally stuffing some "weapon" into their mouths. Before they realized it they were all laughing – after all, they really didn't get to see each other covered in mustard and chicken skin all that often. The Sinner and the human's wishes have come true – they'd have fun, no matter what the heck gets in their way. Neither demons nor humans could spoil the day for each other, for one thing – they were all fun lovers. Fun lovers, once they meet, will always find chances to share.

* * *

"ROSETTTTTTTE?"

"Huh? Chrno?" Hearing a familiar voice echoing above her head, Rosette looked up. She could now see a little dot residing somewhere above the peephole. "OIII!" She yelled and waved, "WE'RE DOWN HERE!"

Shader sighed, "Nyaaa, but that was fun! I wish we could stay longer…"

"Are you mad?" Aion raised an eyebrow, "I know it was fun and all, but I can't stand the smell of this mustard on me!"

A rope descended from the peephole as a deep voice up there chuckled, "You've been getting pretty squishy down there, haven't you? I hear that there is more than one of you down there."

"Father Remington!" The nun squealed delightedly as she jumped for the rope. "Hey, hey, wait for us!" Shader protested as she jumped onto Rosette, nearly suffocating her. Aion sighed hopelessly as he reached for the last little visible end of the rope, "There are three of us. You better pull really hard."

"Three?" Chrno groaned. How did three people fall down there anyway?

Although the trio got rather stuck in a couple of spots on the way up, they have at last made it back to the surface. The trio groaned loudly as they practically limped onto the grass, inhaling and exhaling loudly at the then so heavenly fresh air.

"Aion!" Chrno and Father Remington exclaimed at the same time as they saw the face of the Sinner. But, examining him again, they were ensured that he did Rosette absolutely no harm – for he was covered in a layer of mustard and mayonnaise as well as Rosette and Shader, not to mention that Rosette looked lively as ever.

"C'mon, Aion, let's get back." Shader jumped up and shook her ears as she attached herself to Aion once again, "Rosette Christopher, it's been fun! I hope I get to see you again and your food!"

"Um, yeah, me too." The nun raised an eyebrow, but laughed anyway. Then she realized yet again that the Sinner Aion was standing right in front of her. She tensed as she practically screamed, "But Aion, where is Joshua?"

"My, my," Aion sighed dejectedly, "After so much fun you are still trying to talk of the Apostles? Don't you want to keep this day a perfect one and leave that unpleasant task until tomorrow?"

Rosette paused before chuckling in agreement.

"Good point. So… truce for the day? Let's go back to plotting against and fighting each other tomorrow."

"Agreed." Aion laughed and nodded as he lifted Shader, who was waving at the dumbfounded Chrno and Remington, "Let's go, Shader."

With a puff of smoke the two demons disappeared. Rosette shook her head delightedly and turned, only to find two hilarious looking beings – hilarious being, jaws _literally_ on the floor.

"What in the Astralline's name happened?" Chrno raised an eyebrow as his lips twitched to form these words, "That was Aion! Standing right in front of you! You just let him go? He just let _you_ go? What's going on?"

Rosette giggled, "A little food fight helps brighten the day in every way! Oh, and by the way," Her eyes suddenly shot out a demonic light that made the real demon back off three large steps, "WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THAT BASKET?"

"Well, um…" Chrno twiddled with his finger sheepishly, "You've been snagging all the food lately so I talked with Elder…"

"I _knew_ it! I _knew_ it was Elder! And Chrno, you're going to die for trying to cut me back on **food**! SUPER NOOGIE ATTACK!"

"AIEEEEEEE! YOU'RE GETTING ALL THE KETCHUP ON ME!"

Remington watched the feuding two amusedly as he shook his head. At last he noticed that _something_ was missing. He couldn't quite capture what it was until he looked down the random hole and spotting a puny object, sitting peacefully at the bottom of the crowded abyss. Then he decided to stop the noogie attack by pointing out kindly, "Rosette, where is the basket?"

The nun stopped dead.

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**Yue: **XD That's it! The end of Yue's spewing randomness (for the day)! I hope you liked it.  
**Rosette: **Must I have been stuck with _Aion_?  
**Yue: **Learn to deal with it. You are now in _my_ world! MUAHAHAHAHAHA…  
**Aion: **And they say I'm evil.  
**Yue: **Well, now that you've read the story, please review! Thanks!


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